by Mary Clifford Morrell
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.
by Mary Clifford Morrell
When my son and his wife had to spend months at a children’s hospital in another state after the birth of their fourth son, I had the privilege of taking care of the other three brothers.
You can learn a lot when you spend that much time with young children.
The youngest was born in October so the usual rituals of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas would have a different look that year.
New rituals, not only for the holidays, but for everyday getting-through, were born.
The weekend ritual began with the boys packing a backpack, a toy or two, and their favorite blanket before their aunt and uncle picked them up to drive them to the hospital to see their brother, and to spend the weekend with mom and dad in a temporary apartment.
It was something they looked forward to and planned for all week.
Their real home became the getting ready place for rituals that would happen, but look different, in their new temporary home. There were Halloween costumes and trick-or-treating but in a different neighborhood—the hospital.
As Thanksgiving approached, my six-year-old grandson announced out of the blue, “I really love Thanksgiving,” hoping that his parents and baby brother would be home in time to celebrate.
When I asked him why, all the things he pointed out were part of the ritual: “We decorate the table. Dad sits here and I get to sit here, and mom always makes (a long list here) and we pass everything around and it’s so delicious and we talk about stuff.”
If we look back to when we were young, we may be surprised that some of the most memorable rituals or celebrations the are simplest ones.
For me it was the Sunday ritual of going to my aunt’s house after Mass and sitting around the small kitchen table with five other children vying for space and some portion of the Syrian bread and olives that usually graced the table. It was loud, it was delicious, it was memorable.
After that we went back to our quiet house and settled in to watch TV together while Sunday dinner was cooking. We always had an early dinner on Sunday, but some luscious little treat saved for later with tea.
I loved Sundays and I remember Sundays because of the ritual.
For my sons, I think most would say they loved picking out the Christmas tree, tying it on the car roof and then going to the diner for hot chocolate and something to eat. They valued it enough to continue it with their own families.
While family life today may not provide the same opportunities for time together with extended family, there are other simple rituals that will help build relationships within the family and become wonderful memories for your children.
You may already have them woven into your family life. Taco Tuesdays, Wednesday Waffles, bedtime stories, pumpkin picking, movie nights at home, evening prayers, are all simple rituals that bring lasting memories.
Consider sharing your memories of rituals with your children. You may be surprised what they share back.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.