August 04, 2021
by Mary Clifford Morrell
A day at the beach is much different now that we are older. We enjoy the ocean from a distance, comfortably sitting on the patio of a boardwalk restaurant, watching the waves and, most interestingly, the people.
Among the memorable experiences of a recent trip, was one that reminded me of the words of renowned American poet and author, Maya Angelou, who wrote "Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy."
This day, a group of some 25 youngsters from a county recreation program piled out on the patio to eat their lunches. For the most part, they were well-behaved, but there were a few instances of bullying, trash-talking, and lots of trash left behind.
What I didn’t notice was visible oversight by their counselors, six young adults, and one adult supervisor. While they were all present on the patio, the young adults never left their tables or raised their eyes from their cell phones.
The only time I heard the adult was when he called out that they were leaving and the youngsters raced off the patio into the pavilion, leaving behind garbage on the patio and tables, and chairs were strewn about.
It occurred to me that those who had been assigned the responsibility to care for these youngsters had missed many opportunities during that 45-minute lunch to guide their charges in what it means to be respectful, and to respond to life with the traits of courtesy and grace.
Good habits of courtesy, kindness, and respect need to be reinforced regularly and not just by parents. Our children do not live in a vacuum. They are impacted by the good or bad, social behaviors of others. When responsible adults, like teachers, counselors, family members, and others help reinforce the development of positive character traits, it helps parents achieve their goals for their children.
Modeling, of course, is the most effective way of teaching good habits. But certainly, it is not difficult to explain to a group of children before they sit down for lunch that they are responsible for all garbage being disposed of properly and all chairs being returned and pushed in out of respect for themselves and for other patrons, and then making sure those things are done as expected before getting on with their day.
A bright spot in the day was when two young girls, who were sitting at a table already filled to capacity, invited another young girl who was sitting all alone to join them. The young girl was obviously feeling hurt after being rebuffed twice by another girl who saved four empty seats for friends who didn’t show up until lunch was almost over.
There is great wisdom in the Proverb, “Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it.”
When we help children develop positive, life-affirming traits of self-confidence, courage, respect, and care for others and for creation, we not only help them grow into the people God intended them to be, we create ripples of good that flow out into the world and last a lifetime.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.
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