by Mary Clifford Morrell
A day at the beach is much different now that we are older. We enjoy the ocean from a distance, comfortably sitting on the patio of a boardwalk restaurant, watching the waves and, most interestingly, the people.
Among the memorable experiences of a recent trip, was one that reminded me of the words of renowned American poet and author, Maya Angelou, who wrote "Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy."
This day, a group of some 25 youngsters from a county recreation program piled out on the patio to eat their lunches. For the most part, they were well-behaved, but there were a few instances of bullying, trash-talking, and lots of trash left behind.
What I didn’t notice was visible oversight by their counselors, six young adults, and one adult supervisor. While they were all present on the patio, the young adults never left their tables or raised their eyes from their cell phones.
The only time I heard the adult was when he called out that they were leaving and the youngsters raced off the patio into the pavilion, leaving behind garbage on the patio and tables, and chairs were strewn about.
It occurred to me that those who had been assigned the responsibility to care for these youngsters had missed many opportunities during that 45-minute lunch to guide their charges in what it means to be respectful, and to respond to life with the traits of courtesy and grace.
Good habits of courtesy, kindness, and respect need to be reinforced regularly and not just by parents. Our children do not live in a vacuum. They are impacted by the good or bad, social behaviors of others. When responsible adults, like teachers, counselors, family members, and others help reinforce the development of positive character traits, it helps parents achieve their goals for their children.
Modeling, of course, is the most effective way of teaching good habits. But certainly, it is not difficult to explain to a group of children before they sit down for lunch that they are responsible for all garbage being disposed of properly and all chairs being returned and pushed in out of respect for themselves and for other patrons, and then making sure those things are done as expected before getting on with their day.
A bright spot in the day was when two young girls, who were sitting at a table already filled to capacity, invited another young girl who was sitting all alone to join them. The young girl was obviously feeling hurt after being rebuffed twice by another girl who saved four empty seats for friends who didn’t show up until lunch was almost over.
There is great wisdom in the Proverb, “Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it.”
When we help children develop positive, life-affirming traits of self-confidence, courage, respect, and care for others and for creation, we not only help them grow into the people God intended them to be, we create ripples of good that flow out into the world and last a lifetime.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.
RCL Benziger offers a great program that can be taught in the parish, school, or home. It's our Family Life program.
The program presents Catholic moral teaching and addresses key concerns of today’s Catholic communities, schools, and families. In every grade level, Family Life implements child safety education, promotes virtuous living, and strengthens Catholic identity. The Family Life program reinforces the Catholic virtues and values that your children attain with their education. Family Life is an essential component for your religious education program and meets Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) standards and benchmarks.
RCL Benziger’s new eAssessment platform also provides your Catholic school with the ability to monitor, track, and report the completion of the Child Safety Education Standards for our Family Life program.
• Integrate Family Life Catholic virtues and values into everyday life
• Teach students self-awareness, social awareness, and how to make wise choices
• Train students on the appropriate use of the internet and social media
• Promote child safety education and a safe environment • Prepare students for dealing with peer pressure, bullying, and friendships
• Partner with parents and support Catholic families, enriching Catholic identity
This innovative program focuses on partnering with parents. It guides children, parents, teachers, and catechists to integrate five themes into Catholic family living: God’s gifts of family, self, life, love, and community. It presents the teachings of the Church with clarity and offers support for Catholic families.
by Mary Clifford Morrell
For our family, the small, above-ground pool in our backyard was the source of some of our best memories.
So I wasn’t surprised when, during our last visit to our grandsons, my husband leaned on the rail of their above-ground pool and shared some of the games he played with our sons when they were young.
Soon, I noticed him throwing coins into the water, followed by his loud, “Go!”
A race for retrieving the coins began. There was lots of yelling and splashing and arguing over who was first, along with a lot of laughter.
No doubt there will be requests for this simple game every time Pop comes to visit in the summer, just as there were requests by my sons for checkers with their Poppy, or badminton tournaments or long walks for collecting stuff to fill young pockets.
Memories are part of the bonding that holds families together. They can take shape on the most amazing trips together, or in a quiet moment listening to tree frogs in the backyard. The important thing is to catch them and share them.
When we become memory catchers we are helping our children to be firm in their sense of belonging and the knowledge they are secure within the heart of the family. And when they are adults, it is those memories that will be celebrated around the Thanksgiving table, or on Christmas morning, or when they catch certain smells wafting through the air and remember roasting marshmallows over a fire in a garbage can lid in the backyard, or making cookies with grandma, or the scent of someone they love.
Parents, who may one day become grandparents, have the important job of being the memory keepers and making memories a powerful part of the family history. While we have the amazing resource of photos on our phones, there is no substitute for an old-fashioned photo album.
One of my friends has a family photo album for every year, another creates one that covers multiple years of a child’s life and gives it as a gift during the holidays or for a birthday. Another leaves their wedding album out on a table so children and grandchildren can flip through it and ask a dozen questions about a time before they were born.
Roman statesman and philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero, in the first century B.C., explained it beautifully: “Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things.”
The most treasured memories come from moments of love shared. Make some memories today.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.
Have you tried Our Family Devotions?
Build new memories by celebrating or learning the many ways people of different cultures express the Catholic faith in their churches, neighborhoods, and homes. As the Good News of Jesus spread around the world, people in every culture found special ways to express their faith in God. Through the ritual words and gestures of popular devotions, Catholics show their love for God and devotion to Mary and the saints.
Some popular devotions begin with a message that is given to a person and then shared with others. Many traditions grow from the blending of the Catholic faith with a cultural celebration. Although the prayers and rituals may be adapted to meet the spiritual needs of culture, all popular devotions are intended to help people recognize God’s love for them and grow in their love for God.
It is our prayer that through this book your family will experience God in new ways in your everyday lives. May the diverse and rich traditions of families and the Church from around the world lead you to find new ways of living out your faith. May the beauty of these devotions remind us that we are one family in Jesus Christ, sharing God’s love in our homes, churches, and communities.
by Mary Clifford Morrell
My grandson is digging a hole in the backyard. Not really earthshaking for a 10-year-old, but he’s been digging it for three years.
At some point, as one small shovel full of dirt after another was removed, the idea of the hole became an idea of a bunker and he was determined to follow through with his plan. Today, three children his age can stand in the hole chest deep and he’s tried to enlist his Pop to help him shore up the sides for safety.
Recently, as we sat at the kitchen table together, trying to unravel the mystery of fractions, he digressed at the sight of looming dark clouds and said, “I hope the storm doesn’t fill up my hole.”
I asked him why it was such a concern for him, as it was only a hole in the ground. He seemed genuinely surprised I would have to ask such a question. “You know it took me three years to dig!”
I smiled, not just at his enthusiasm for his project, but because I realized I now had a built-in “parable,” with him at the center of the story, to remind him of the importance and value of moving forward, taking one small step at a time.
Whether it’s learning fractions, mastering a musical instrument or sport, learning to draw or paint, or even to read, the idea that it can, and will, happen one small step at a time can go a long way in dispelling the discouragement children often feel when they struggle with some accomplishment.
And let’s be honest. Discouragement is an adult issue, too.
Not only do we often feel called to be the best we can be at whatever it is we are doing, it is important for us to make a difference in the world. But year after year it seems easier to become overwhelmed by the needs of the world, the community, our parishes, our poor, so much so that we never move out in faith to fill any of those needs.
But every journey begins with the first step.
As an adult still trying to figure out how I could accomplish what I wanted to in life, I found encouragement in the life and words of Dorothy Day, social activist, writer, and Catholic convert, on her way to sainthood, whose Catholic Worker Movement and “houses of hospitality” would serve the poor and hungry in some 200 communities.
Day wrote, "People say, 'What is the sense of our small effort?' They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time."
Even today, she keeps me walking forward, and building with my little bits and pieces, even on those days when I feel like, "What's the use?"
Children and adults are both empowered when we understand the ability of a single brick, a shovelful of dirt, a small offering of help to one person in need, to make a difference.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.
Did you know we have a webpage to help you learn about the saints?